Ashley Madison, a website whose purpose is to connect those wishing to commit adultery with others seeking out an affair, was breached by hackers last week. A virtual Scarlett Letter was pinned to countless names when they were released as users of the site whose main purpose is to facilitate adultery. The Ashley Madison motto is: Life is short: have an affair! The inference being, if your name is on the Ashley Madison list, you are at least a “want to be” cheater.
What do you do if you find out YOUR spouses’ name is on the list:
KEEP CALM AND CONFRONT YOUR SPOUSE:
If you know that your spouse’s name is on Ashley Madison, you need to discuss it with them before making any permanent decisions to leave your marriage. While it will be tempting at first to throw him out now and look back later, it is important to take time to calm down and deal with the situation.
DO NOT assume that everyone listed on the site is cheating on their partner. The presence of an email address on the site does NOT in itself constitute infidelity. It does indicate a need for a serious conversation about the state of your marriage. Maybe your spouse was curious, but did not act on it. If so, use this revelation as a springboard to work on your relationship. Even if your spouse was unfaithful, many marriages with the proper help, can survive and thrive after an affair. If there is love left in your hearts for each other, make sure you make every effort before giving up the marriage, especially if you have children.
GET PROFESSIONAL HELP:
Even if there is a quasi innocent explanation,the presence of your spouses’ name is a huge red flag that something in your relationship has gone off track and has likely been off track for a while.
Almost all long term marriages will have problems. With the right guidance, these problems can be opportunities to learn about each other and grow closer as a couple.
Marriage counseling or even a weekend marriage retreat to heal and reconnect is a must if you want to save your marriage. Retrouvaille offers a weekend long intensive for marriages in trouble on a sliding scale and have tremendous success in healing marriages. ( www.retrouvaille.org 1-800-470-2230).
CONSULT WITH A LAWYER:
Even if you do not want a divorce, it is important that you know the Louisiana law on divorce, child custody and support and what your rights are.
It’s tempting for cheated-on spouses to assume that the law will punish the cheater in the divorce. In Louisiana, a no-fault divorce state, this is not the case. While there are some slight advantages if you file for divorce on the grounds of adultery and PROVE adultery, the discovery that your spouse is cheating or on Ashley Madison, will likely gain you little advantage or money and, barring extreme circumstances, will not affect decisions regarding the custody of the children or child support. In most cases, giving your marriage a chance will not affect your rights in a divorce situation, but you should protect yourself.
Consulting with a lawyer and knowing what will happen should you decide to file for divorce is an important step to protect yourself when facing marital crisis. Having all the facts before making a decision to divorce is important. Knowing the law and having a plan can help you feel comfortable giving the marriage time to be saved and protecting yourself, your assets and your children in the process.
We offer completely private consultations for $150 because we believe affordable legal support should be available to everyone before making life-altering and family-changing decisions. We listen with compassion and empathy and can help you understand the law and create a path through the confusion. 985-327-3024 or firstname.lastname@example.org